anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A bitchslap is in order.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
