the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
