she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
