im about as happy as oj after his trial
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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