i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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