we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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