so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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