I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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