Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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