The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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