you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
