Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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