You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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