It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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