took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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