Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
