If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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