fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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