So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if only i could text you this smell
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
