he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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