I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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