I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize