I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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