Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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