you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
