Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think i have herpe
just one?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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