So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
