i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Someone shit on the floor
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
