quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
