Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
