i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
