Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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