I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
