I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
