I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
