In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
