this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Every concussion has its silver lining
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
