I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
