Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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