I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
only if we run a train.
done.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
