i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
