4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was like his penis was on wheels.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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