I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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