i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
