i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
