do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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