yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
