If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
