marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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