I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
