So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
