Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
