You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
