turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
