I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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