Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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