I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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