apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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