am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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