The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
