why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
