Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I supernannyed him into submission
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
