i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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