You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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