dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
